[is] Ageless. Polish. Insane. Unyielding. Writer. Artist. Singer. Messenger. Web designer. Illusion master.

[does] Reads & writes fantasy, bad poetry, self-dissecting entries no one reads; sings Nightwish, Within Temptation, Vienna Teng, After Forever, Epica & Evanescence, and won't link you to her YT channel. :P

[thinks] We're made stronger by the things that don't kill us, and sometimes, by the things that do.

[loves] True friends. The cat. Good tea. Soundtracks. Vienna Teng. Neo-gothic architecture. Piano music. Loyalty. Peace of mind. G.

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:: Layout ver. 19 :: The Sundering
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Coded by Rhea Logan based on Opal code by Halffling. Header quote © Rhea Logan 2011. Steal and die.

September 2016
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Welcome, stranger.

...and the Fallen sing the Chant of sorrow...
F R I E N D S     O N L Y
[ Rules | Add | Saiyuki Fic | Loveless Fic | YnM Fic | Emergency ]

10 years ago

Ten years ago, someone I loved more than anyone else shattered my soul into pieces.

I have a piercing to remember it by, and I don't regret that one, either. I'm surprised to notice it has been a decade already. I spent a good portion of that time picking up the pieces, but I've learned since then it's possible to have friends who will not abandon you. That it's okay to trust people--some people--because it's possible they won't shun you when they learn who you are. That even if some things aren't meant to last, there are far less cruel ways of dealing with them than denying someone the closure they deserve, if for no other reason then at least for having loved and cared.

Learning to forgive was one of the hardest lessons on being human I've ever had to learn. I'm not sure I learned it as I was meant to, because to this day, my most natural instinct is to not trust, not share, not care too deeply for fear of getting hurt all over again and not being able to find all the pieces this time. I wasn't like that before. This is my one regret and something I don't think I can reverse.

I put this in the book I'm currently finishing up. Although that story has nothing to do with the story above, it has a lot of things that came to be because of it.

That's why I don't regret it. :)

"I have no clue about living," he said, pushing away the rest of his fears. "I ruin everything."

"Here's a beginner's clue about living. You can always pick up the pieces and build something from them. As long as you're alive, you can do that as many times as it takes."

"It will never be the same." Or what he imagined.

"It might be better."

"There will always be cracks and tears to remind me of what it isn't."

She smiled. He tried not to flinch when she took his hand. "Having a past isn't a bad thing, you know. It means you survived, and you have something to show for it."

"Scars, mostly."

"Scars tell interesting stories. I don't trust people without them. They tend to be cowards."

Saiyuki Kagekiden: God~child - the musical review, kind of

( This entry has been automatically cut. Click to view. )
Mood: excited excited

The latest chapter O.O
Tags: saiyuki

OMG, the Reload Blast spoilers are killing me. Whom do I have to beg for scans? I can offer the firstborn I don't have or, I don't know, anything really. Argh. ^^;;;

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/362327.html. Please comment here or there.

Meme ^^
Tags: meme, self

Stolen from [personal profile] moodwriter ^_^

1. How old will you be in 10 months?

2. Do you think you'll be married by then?
I honestly doubt it. :P

3. What do you look forward to most in the next 3 months?
Going to the mountains in the summer.

4. Who was the last person you called?
Sami's dad.

5. Who was the last person to call you?
My financial advisor.

6. Do you prefer to call or text?
Text. Calls are exhausting.

7. Do you have any pets?
A cat.

8. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Sleeping. It was a long Easter weekend. :P

9. Are your parents married/divorced/separated?
My dad died 20 years ago.

10. When is the last time you saw your brother?
Never. ^_^

the rest of the questions...Collapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/362053.html. Please comment here or there.
Mood: anxious anxious


I could maybe do a crazy thing.

A return flight to Osaka in April is 2670 PLN. Accommodation via airbnb for a week is ~900 PLN. Probably another ~1500 PLN to get by and not starve.

If I maxed out my credit card, I could do it.

Except I'm chickenshit so I probably won't do it, I'll just sit here thinking about it. *headdesk* [personal profile] moodwriter will be there during that time. It's been our plan for years now to go to Japan together, except of course I didn't plan it for this year--with all the expenses that came up when we bought the apartment, it kind of didn't fit in the budget in any way.

But. Oh hell, do I want to do it. >.<

I never do crazy shit like this. I usually decide it's too stressful or just downright impossible or... somethingsomethingsomething. There's always something. I really wish I had it in me to go, "let's do it, and to hell with the consequences". >.>

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/361731.html. Please comment here or there.
Mood: scared scared


友達と4月に日本へ行きたい -.- やっぱりお金がない。時間がない。仕方ないですね。。。

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/361555.html. Please comment here or there.
Mood: apathetic apathetic

Fic: This Time [Gojyo/Hakkai, Kenren/Tenpou, R]

Title: This Time
Author: Rhea [personal profile] enchanter
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Gojyo/Hakkai, Kenren/Tenpou
Summary: Gojyo remembers, even if he doesn't realize it. (Burial arc, reincarnation fic, prompt: intertwined)
Wordcount: 3,300, one-shot, complete
Warnings: none
Notes: Written for [personal profile] absolute_negation for this year's [community profile] valentine_smut gift!fic exchange. Big thanks to Johanna for beta and encouragement. Saiyuki belongs to Kazuya Minekura, and I'm just playing. :)

On AO3: It was weird business, saving someone's life. Weird enough to seriously mess with a guy's already messed up head.

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/361379.html. Please comment here or there.
Mood: sick sick

Valentine smut reveals!

Look look! My beautiful, beautiful Saiyuki valentines. ♥ I feel so lucky, having received three.

"The Sea of Samsara" by [personal profile] kikyo, Goujun/Tenpou ♥
and two stories by [personal profile] 7veils: "Appetite" (Gojyo/Hakkai) and "Venerable" (also Goujun/Tenpou - yay! When I put that pairing on the list, I honestly didn't expect to get two fics featuring it :D). ♥

Thank you~~~

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/361021.html. Please comment here or there.
Mood: grateful grateful

I has returned. In one piece.

Aaaaaaaand I'm back. Not without problems this time, actually - the car broke down 60 kilometers from home. :P We took it as a sign that the vacation should have been at least a week longer. ;)

I woke up on Friday morning to over 20 Saiyuki fics over at [community profile] valentine_smut. I had to read my gifts on the iphone, not having taken the laptop with me; I have since read most of the fics twice but have yet to comment properly. I got four gifts this year (three as of yet anonymous and one from [personal profile] chomiji who is made of awesome. ♥ There were so many Goujun/Tenpou fics! Surprised and very pleased. :D

Miraculously, we got to snowboard every day for a week despite the weather being less than awesome for the first half of it. I missed the mountains like crazy and now can't wait for the summer when we're going back there for some serious climbing. My two snowboard virgins didn't manage to kill themselves on the slopes; they actually managed to learn well enough to keep up with us. Made me very proud. :D ♥

Had some of the best food in a long time while there, too, and tonight is sushi night. :D If only I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow morning, life would be quite perfect. :P

Happy belated Valentine's and hugs to everyone. ♥

This entry was originally posted at http://enchanter.dreamwidth.org/360911.html. Please comment here or there.

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